Tuesday, July 10, 2012

REDNECK HAIKUS

And oldie but a goody. For Jim Bohannon:

OPTIONS
Unemployment’s out.
Hey, maybe I kin git on
Disability.

BEAUTY

Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps

REMORSE

A painful sadness
Can't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door

BLAZE

Distant siren screams
Dumb-ass Verne's been playing with
Gasoline again

A NEW MOON

Flashlights pierce darkness
No nightcrawlers to be found
Guess we'll gig some frogs

ALONE

Seeking solitude
Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
Restraining order

DESIRE

Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost forget
You are my cousin

OFFERINGS

Tonight we hunger
Grandma sent the food money
To Robert Tilton

DRAMA

Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
At 9 O'Clock

DEPRIVED

In WalMart toy aisle
Wailing boy wants rasslin' doll
Mama whups his ass

IMPOUNDED

Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keep me from
My El Camino

GATHERING

In the morning mist
Mama scans Circle K for
Moon Pies and Red Man

HUNGER

My shotgun misfires
Loaded with soggy birdshot
No squirrel for lunch

MOTHER AND CHILD

Crusted in boogers,
Baby has Kool-aid stained face
Only Mama loves.